2 February 2010


7th HEAVE-ON - FEB 2nd

Another night at our fave local nite-spot cum discotheque saw the temperatures soar to that four to the floor, as they came through the door, and it was heaving. Well the DJ's were (Tejen, Jasper and Oz that is). Josie, unable to attend due to a nasty bout of the flu, ducked out, and her spot was quickly squeezed by that young Chav charmer, Tej. He immediately proffered us his cheesey delights, showcasing some very nice inches of sheer throbbing pleasure whilst so doing.

Practically all the tVC DJ's managed to drag their enjoyment starved carcasses the few miles down the road that was needed to partake in this most wondrous form of social entertainment. As the late, great Glen Miller said "..there is no expression of freedom, quite so sincere as music..". Cool. Tonight saw the rebirth of the Ministry of Crap Dances, sure to get a really large membership surge as the seasons move swiftly towards summers mellow fruitfulness (and all the over the top consumption that will entail). Chief leg shakers were definately Ed Formally and Now Ey, how ya' diddlin', Burns oot. The latter, it was readily observed, was hardly on what one would term "top form", complaining of having flu, in fact just complaining! Austin had already beat a hasty retreat, claiming he was off to get some trousers (don't ask why he wasn't already wearing any). At 10 o' clock at night, in Wincheap? Once returned, just as trouserless from whence he came, he was quite well behaved, obviously saving his best blags for the fun-filled weekend ahead. Pen too was on tipp topp behaviour, and was even seen to procure his own half a lager, much to the shock of his assembled chums/moneylenders.

Laura was in gin-guzzling-frenzy mode, making the most of her day off work the next morning. Pammy Poos, Jaspers greatest fan cheering him on from the front of the floor, along with all the other large lunged house whores of the inebriated variety. And a damn fine set it was too, Jasp. John looking frail and delicate after his near brush with ill health, Roger with his arm-pits only slightly moistened, and in that lovely Armani tee-shirt too! Keef and beau snogging constantly and rubbing their bodies together in a rather suggestive, sex-crazed manner, with Keefs nipple rings getting caught in anything that got close enough, rather in the manner of a Dutch gangster, one young chap was heard to remark. Roy (Bouncer) had his heater nicked, for which he is not at all impressed, coz now he's gonna "freeze his nuts off" whilst searching you all for naughty substances. Ok, who did it?Suffice to say, for this world weary reviewer, 7th Heave-on was reached, and maintained most admirably through the night. Hurrah!