9 October 2009

" When Life Tastes like Shit!"

So... I've never written an article for "Tangent" before... why now?
tVC is something I got involved in after coming to the parties on and off for a year and a half and feeling "this lot are doing something special, something worthwhile, they've got something more than a marquee, and a sound system" and I wanted in. I had things to give and I wanted with a strong passion to find people who felt the way I did about music and dancing… Music and Dancing? Since we first hit the ground with a blunt stick all those years ago outside, round that fire, celebrating life in all it's myriad manifestations and magical frightening properties, I've been there, in my heart as a kid in the woods, as a scout round the fire, as a hippie at Stonehenge and now as a DJ at a free party.

Most of the people I knew and hung around with up until then were willing to help, but only when enough other people had got involved, just to be on the safe side you understand. They didn't want to look stupid helping to organise something that wasn't going to work; but that's another story.Anyhow I got involved, it wasn't easy... Why did I want to get involved? Was I after something? Recognition? A leg up on the DJ scene? What was in it for me? Could I be trusted? Or was I just another Bloody Blagger!? Naaa! I just loved tVC and the people who came and danced and in-put. That's why I'm writing this article.I've written things before but not a lot. I'm very passionate about things and when I'm inspired to write I usually blurt it all out in a couple of paragraphs or in my earlier days as songs or poems, my grammar and spelling is crap, thank whoever for word processors!

So why pen and paper now?"The pen is mightier than the sword", said someone; who if I'd paid more attention in school I'd be able to give you the name of, but what if you can't read? And even if you can, people don't always understand what the writer means, but it gets it off your chest! Doesn't it!

I'm thirty five, I'm not well travelled or well read, but I've seen and read a few things and what I've seen and chose to read has usually made a difference.I sometimes play dumb, I don't always want people to know what I think, partly because I have been and have met passionate people who don't know when to shut up and partly because it usually takes me a while to decide what I think, and by that time the conversation's moved on.Naive? I think some people think I am, I like to try not to be to quick to judge people and their behaviour; you end up missing things about them that are interesting, the deeper picture. You have to be wary I've learnt, we can all get burned and most of us have.

I went pretty much from scouts to "Punk Rock" then L.S.D. ( I'm still not sure I've come down properly)..... from scouts I mean!I've never been on the end of a needle except for tetanus and other vaccinations I've tried to avoid, but I have chased the that stinky brown dragon across the foil, and snorted very pure "china white"... Wow! It does every thing you said it would and even more! I bought a couple of bags, but I couldn't handle being sick… what a baby! I liked hallucinations, being outside and totally fucking lost! I was in the L.S.D. fanclub!I've been in plenty of rooms in the past twenty years, I've seen people give up the foil and try with a syringe then fight with a blunt needle to find a vein, but these experiences were not why I took drugs. I took drugs to get closer to what I believed in. We all believe in feeling good, the difference lies in what we feel good about, some drugs open up the mind and senses allowing you into realms of pleasure that seem restricted, they can enhance our state of mind, shut it down, encourage interaction, creativity, empathy and fun even! Abuse or over use of drugs to put it in every day language, fucks you up! You spend so much time out there, when you do get back nothing makes much sense, the daily tasks of survival become difficult to deal with.

Drugs for most of us unless we are healers of some sort are to enhance, decorate, spice up certain areas of life at chosen times, like herbs and spices in cooking, or like icing on a cake. The meal is the life you make, why not add a few herbs! Share your meal with someone else and show them the pleasures of cooking with life!To much spice and you can't taste the meal to much icing on the cake and what is left to taste, tastes like shit!

There's not much to share; valuable experience... maybe; some conversation...of a sort; some input... but plenty of spice and icing, which seems to be there all of a sudden in abundance supplied eagerly by those feeding their own habit in a pathetic attempt to find some kind of social standing or romantic position as a dealer in dreamy underground sub culture driven by the pain and struggle to cope with a life -which is not easy for any of us.We're all casualties of our own realities and in many ways our own short comings are what make us human and dynamic, learning to forgive and understand through our own mistakes and difficulties. It's often the little quirks and imperfections we grow to like about each other. We learn to forgive, we look out for each other, make allowances, life is hard for all of us in some way or another, there is no escape from our own reality. (personally I think not even in death when I believe we are stripped of our earthly trappings and possessions and we are left with our own raw life state ,we look back at the life we've created, we're left with the memories of our time on earth and as we rejoin the universe our pain may disappear but the regrets we have will be profound and way heavy in comparison to our life on earth).

But while we are here on Earth we can change our reality. Regrets can become lessons and fuel for change. It's never too late Now is the only time that counts; it's the only time we have! The past is but a memory and the future a dream formed by our actions today. An old writing says:- " it is better to live one day with honour, than live one hundred and twenty and die in disgrace!"Lets move forward. There must be room on board for all of us and our Fuck ups!But, and maybe I'm putting my neck on the block by saying it, but fuck it; there are people out there, if you can call them people who consciously decide to make a living from others misery and without any intent of threat or challenge I feel compelled to say to you this:- "You suppliers of icing and spice, you who pedal and feed like Vampires on the pain and suffering of others, you can FUCK RIGHT OFF!YOU LOW LIFE SCUM! You're not invisible, we all know who you are. The Heroin Cool with clean clothes and shades, fully loaded and with pockets full of more than enough misery for everyone.........

Beware the Slayers..............