31 October 2009

FLYING TONIGHT?

There is an ancient tradition that recommends the use of a special ointment that permits witches to fly their Besoms. Science claims that this ointment merely creates an illusion of flying. The truth is that Besom riding is a combined power of rider and steed. Just the same, for your interest, here is the ancient recipe for witches flying ointment, which I warn you is very toxic and not to be taken internally under any circumstances:

mix together :
1oz pork fat
1oz Deadly Nightshade
1oz Hemlock
1oz Wolfsbane
1/2oz Soot

Apply to the nape of the neck, under the arms and behind the knees. DO NOT APPLY TO EYES, NOSE, MOUTH, EARS or any passages leading into the body. Such an unfortunate mishap will cause extreme sickness. If taken internally by accident, eat four raw eggs with yolks and rush to a doctor or hospital.

There is yet another witches' flying ointment which is not applied, but is inhaled, or can be smoked. It is perfectly safe, and will temporarily impart the sensation of flying.

All ingredients are healthy and quite legal and easily obtained:
Shredded and mixed: Damiana, Ginseng, Echinaci Celery Seed, Juniper Berries, Ginger, Yohimbe, Kava Kava, Muria Puama and White Oak Bark.

Use as an incense, a cigarette or in a pipe. Not all the ingredients are required, but at least half of them in any combination will give the same effects.

(Taken from "THE WITCHES BROOMSTICK MANUAL" -Rev. Yaj Nomolos, S.P., COSMIC VISION PRESS, P.O. Box 666,Whitehall, PA 18052)

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