Taoist: Shit happens.
Buddhist: The shit which happens is good.
Zen: What is the sound of shit happening?
Hindu: The shit which happens has happened before.
Catholic: We deserve the shit which happens to us.
Protestant: The shit which happens should happen to someone else.
Jewish: Why does the shit always happen to us?
Agnostic: I am not sure I believe this shit.
Atheist: I do not believe any of this shit.
Rastafarian: Let’s smoke this shit.