Got a strange phone call from Christmas Chris the other day. It lasted eight and a half minutes and I don’t think I spoke one word during the whole conversation. The gist of it was this; my partner left me because she was a sex addict, you are her friend, I can’t speak to you anymore.
She left him 9 months ago. I’ve got some of my old diaries and there are a lot of entries pertaining to him and his partner T which I think I’m going to publish some time soon. For years, according to C, she was getting off her head at parties and fucking guys. Anyone she fancied apparently. Now I knew of several incidents where she had done this and had not talked about it or mentioned it to C at all. Well, the way he’s behaving now justifies that decision a bit I think. Now he’s off on one. Would it have made any difference if he had known earlier or not? I don’t know and couldn’t possibly speculate because all I know is what’s happening now.
25 years of being with someone and not knowing about their secret sex life? What sort of set up is that? Now, he’s fucking his friends off left right and centre. Saying he can’t even hang around with the party people anymore. How we are all condoning T’s behaviour by not speaking out against it. I don’t agree with that analysis at all but I do agree that people should be allowed to express themselves openly and without prejudice from any one even if that person is your partner.
So this morning it boiled up a bit and I fired off a text to him because everyone pussyfoots around him since his failed attempt on his life. I said “appreciate what you’re going through but there a few points I’d like to make. I’m Paul. Not T’s friend. A person. A human being trying to help a fellow sufferer through some pain. I deserve some respect from u. I’m a friend 2u. don’t reject me or blame me. Others have and it fucks me up. Don’t add 2 it. I’m here if u need 2 talk but u never do. I feel like shit coz of u. push away if u want but it’s the wrong thing 2 do & u know it. Call me. Px”