19 July 2009

1997 part 27 - ‘doing a Pam’

And Sue.
Yes “and Sue”. Sue is one year older than me: she’s 37 or 38 but she ain’t your average late 30’s woman heading inexorably into middle age. Oh no. she’s Conrad's long term partner and full on party person. I think they’ve been with each other about 8 years and like all long term couples I know they have their particular, er, ways of getting along. Unlike Nick and I, or Dee and Scotty or Chris and Terry or John and Pam or Wendy and Stuart or any of the couples together over, say, 8 years, they have their own particular way of keeping it together. I say unlike J&P but in a way they are a bit like them. They stay together and live together and travel together but fuck other people behind each others back and don’t tell the other partner what they get up to. Which is fine if that’s what they both want to do because, you know, all this ‘consenting adult’ stuff only works if both parties are, er, party to the agreement. But where the complications come in is in the scenario of ‘who do you fuck?’

Chris and Terry’s set up is different. C is manic, not a little psychotic, paranoid, insecure, unconfident and it’s a real crying shame but I see him day on day and each time he’s fallen apart just a little bit more. He loves his Terry and I really cry real tears of identification when I see her treat him like she does.Sometimes he looks older than his 40 odd years as his frantic, increasingly agitated efforts to hold on to her love and respect fall away like petals on a dead flower. One by one. Fear. Hate. Loathing. Lonliness. Bitterness. Despondency. Then it’s gone. But not yet! He’s still in there despite his narcolepsy and his fear.

I totally identify with what’s happening to him and I don’t want Nick and I to become Chris and Terry. That would be awful. The complication arises because Conrad is fucking Terry and I feel responsible. Or Terry is Conrad.

In this weird world of deep house the various groups of us around the country (and world) are small and we’re all getting to know each other better. We all travel around playing and visiting each other, forming ties, loyalties and relationships. And it was me who brought the Rogue Sound System down from Lincoln and introduced them to tVC in Kent. Terry. Conrad. They meet and BAM!

Down the Woodpecker on Monday they were like two dogs on heat, man. Fuck. The night before T was giving it some hot moves on all the men back at Rosie’s after we were down the East Kent. She was, with me anyway, doing ‘A Pam’ as I call it. She had on real tight thin material trousers and, you know that crack between the two bum cheeks, well she’d be standing in front of me gently moving up and down on my penis through my trousers. Fine, till an erection began to appear then that fits, yowsa, right in that crack so well. As soon as she felt my erection growing it would be like flicking a switch on in her head and she’d start purring and slinking her body so smoothly… then she’d laugh and her upper body would move forward and her bum would go back and press right hard and then… you know, ‘doing a Pam’.

I'm thinking ‘I’ve got to get out of here. This is too much.’ For Christ's sake both Conrad and Chris are here giving me the hot eye and daggers in the back syndrome. I fuck off upstairs but am dragged in the bathroom where Terry, Rosie, Sara, Emily, Shelly are; it seems all the women.

There’s me leaning on the sink and Terry sinks into my groin again like a car reversing smoothly into its parking space. Sasha gets into the bath with the other 4 women but we leave the door unlocked and start to throw wet toilet paper around. It sticks to the walls and ceiling with a resounding resolute splat and we all giggle loudly and are all having top fun of a sort. A piece of wet paper is thrown just as the door opens and Si Stonehouse appears. It hits him right between the eyes and just sticks there! We finish the vodka off and Sara asks ‘where’s the champagne?’So, there’s me saying I totally identify with Chris and there I am frottaging with Terry! What a hypocrite. Then so is Nicky; fucking snogging with the Catalyst and that’s all she’s admitted to me. What else did they get up to? Leaving parties for hours, going ‘to the pub’, ‘popping’ back to my house to pick up stuff etc. She’s only admitted one snog and I went berserk so she ain’t going to tell me anymore is she? One snog nearly split us up for Christ's sake.

So anyway, after Terry and Conrad get it together at Bysing Wood last spring they had to wait a whole year. Chris was keeping a tight eye on her but she somehow managed to fuck of with Conrad who approached me in the marquee and said they’d fucked four times that day and I said to him ‘don’t you come back later and tell me five’. Not that I approved or anything.

Half an hour later he’s back and as he walks towards me he’s holding his hand up with all five fingers spread wide and a fuck off grin on his face and all I can say is ‘faark off’ and burst out laughing. I’d told Terry ‘you know, what you’re doing is OK but you must finish with Chris first because it’s fucking him up.’ But all she says is ‘don’t tell him please’ and I’m caught up in her conspiracy and feel like a total and utter hypocritical idiot because if Nick ever did that to me I don’t know what I’d do.