12 June 2009

T9. but no sex please we’re ex’s

Was DJing at this gig over the weekend:

“Saturday 11th March 2006 - Pirates of the Hairybean present Walking the Plank @ The Admiral Owen, Sandwich, Kent. Opp Bell Hotel. Deck hands - Seaman S, Captain Oz and First Mate Timo. 7 till close.”

Met Alma and Steve down Dukes for a quick drink to celebrate Alma’s 37th birthday. Was there with T who I’d picked up earlier because she doesn’t like going out and driving if she’s knows she’s going to be drinking even one drop. Enter her taxi on call, me, who is round there whenever she decides she needs a lift with me; walks, trips to London, whatever! I’m there for her. Have been ever since her ‘straw that broke the camels back’ comment she hurled at me just before the dumping. Feeling waves of bad boy guilt I’ve been trying to make it up to her ever since. Maybe she’s just playing a game with me but without my active participation the game wouldn’t even exist and, as it goes, I’ll do anything for her to make up for the crimes I committed and make amends and who knows she may even like me again, forgive me for what I have done and become my lover once more.

Anyway, S&A’s chums were all there and we were making a big fuss of A who was opening up her birthday cards and presents and smiling and laughing and it was a really touching moment. As the crowd grew bigger and time marched on I could see, with the aid of my time travelling gifts, that the drinking would continue with quite a vociferous pace until closing when they planned to head off for the Foun-tain for a late drink till 12.30 or 1am-ish. Now S&A are Scottish (not saying anything about stereotypes here at all) and J&E are big drinkers too. So join the dots.

Louis arrived after ringing me up and he, I and T went to Thanet in L’s VW Sharan people carrier for my gig. L popped a few E’s and T did one too. I had a half because it was there and I was playing house music to people on it too so though ‘may as well…’

The Admiral Owen is a shit hole or ‘friendly local’ depending on your view point and how you like your pubs. Personally I like my pubs large, with comfortable sofas and nice, cold beer. The Owen was a stone floored ‘character’ pub, well in need of a makeover but the people there were friendly enough and the beer was good and cold.

S, J, PD and Ramsden (I presume The Pirates of the Hairybean) had set up at the back of the pub. Timo, all hail the Timo, was playing tunes at the back. Nice, dubby, a few old ones but otherwise immaculately mixed as usual. S&J weredressed up as pirates; even the obligatory blow up parrot was in evidence on S’s shoulder. I had over a hundred quids worth of new tunes and was gagging to get on the decks which I duly did when Timo had finished.

T Face spent most of the night talking to John and Jane and we didn’t speak that much. I begin to despair as no matter how much energy I put into her I get nothing back. Perhaps she’s trying to tell me something? Yeah, pick me and drop me off; but no sex please we’re ex’s! The message is getting there but she behaves like this to everyone; never giving too much always critical by her lack of response. I would like to think I think she’s smarter than she actually appears. As emotional depth or awareness and the expression of it never seems to manifest in her behaviour at all. Why I have this attachment let alone why I keep pursuing it completely baffles me (thanks mum). Perhaps it’s the only good thing I’ve had since Nero left my sorry arse crying on the sofa that fateful day on October the 12th 2002.

Funny thing is I’ve always liked S, but she hasn’t liked me, ever since I first met her in the early 90’s. S is J’s ex. She just dumped him recently which is why I’m thinking that his interest in T may be only superficially sexual and he just wants to 'get back on the horse' as it were after being dumped by S. She said she liked him but not his temper. I hear his temper can be ferocious but after all the 'practice' he’s had with S he may well tune in to T’s particular foibles that her personality throws out. I hope that doesn’t happen but we’ll have to wait and see. He may be a better man than I think he is at the moment. In the place that he is in. It all feels very hurtful to me but who gives a fuck about how I feel? (My mother?)

She calls me once a month from Canada for a chat. I rarely ring her.