12 May 2009

Time to straighten up for work on Monday

So, I texted Daphne last week from the pub. We’d been sitting there chatting and getting on quite well whist BensEgo played in the background. The Neppy was packed as usual and no one was taking any notice of us. When she left my friend Emily Bagpuss said ‘I can see you like Daphne and I know she likes you. Why don’t you text her and ask her out for a drink or something?’ 


So I did.


One week later she replied. It was as sort of non committal kind of reply but she did say she’d like to do it but not this weekend as she was up in London again. At least she replied but I inferred from her slow response that she really didn’t give a fuck so I replied back that I too couldn’t make it a date this weekend as I was extremely busy too and if she did fancy it could she give me a text next week and let me know when she was free. So that was that.


BensEgo had to start without their star, Ben. He’s been up in London auditioning for X Factor and, surprise surprise had got through to the second round. He did make it back to his humble origins, the pub, to play a few tunes right at the end though. The band, Ego I presume, filled in nicely whilst he was gone and winged it in a most appropriate fashion. Not that I was listening mind you. Too busy talking to Daphne.


A bit of a busy weekend coming up as I’ve already said; Molly is playing down the Neppy tonight, a gig with tVC in Herne Bay on Saturday and the Sheppey Bridge walk on Sunday. Going down the Neppy with Mike and Molly – I call them the Posh and Beck’s of Whitstable – as Moll tries to further her singing career with an open mic gig appearance at our favourite Irish dive bar. Saturday should be fun. No Daphne. No Sarah.


Jenny and her gang of sexual terrorist women will be there, which should be nice as I love flirting with them and them with me and also Tort is going to be there too. How very Kentish. Fresh from her holiday in Morocco she is fucking going to be full of it. Still looking forward to seeing her photo’s and hoping she really had a shit time with her new boyf and fell out with him really really badly and that she probably wants to get back with me. Because I wasn’t the bad boy she had made me out to be really. Which if that ever happened, I know I’m a bit of a heart breaker, and I wouldn’t really enjoy saying no to her, but I would. Let’s keep the friendship thing going as it’s proving to be rather fun for both of us. For now.


Got the flyer through for the Lounge on the Farm gig in Canterbury and the Stop the War Festival so shall be liberally distributing them all over East Kent this weekend. I also need to finish 2 lots of 4,000 words for my post grad course by Tuesday. How the fuck I’m going to do that when I have the motivation of a flea and the procrastination of an elephant? Must must do this or I’m going to lose my job. Lounge on the Farm have given me the job of ‘sorting out’ the dance tent which I presume means setting the rig up and looking after it, booking, scheduling and ensuring the DJ’s stick to their slots and don’t play too loud or too long and finish on time. No problems. At the Stop the War thing we’re doing a little tent and cafĂ© and I’ll be doing the same sort of job there too.


So, Sarah came round at the beginning of the week and she does this thing that she does to the kids too of drawing a face on my face with her finger. I have to keep my eyes shut and guess who the the person is she is drawing. She goes round the edge of my face in an oval; wiggles her finger over my eyebrows to ‘draw’ in the eyebrows; gently touched the ends of my eyelashes to signify eyelashes and then dots the eyes to denote pupils. At the end she puts on, hats, beards, earrings, moustaches, beards or what ever else would give me clues as to the identity of the person I’m supposed to be guessing. It’s fun. It makes us both giggle and it’s being intimate without a sexual overtone (yeah, right). This time she goes ‘ooh, I got one’ and begins to draw. She draws the outline of the head. Fine. Around the eyes. Fine. Eyelashes. Good. But instead of gently dotting the pupils in, she pokes me in the eye with her long nail. I yelp like a squealing pig. My eye feels like someone has just kicked
sand into it. I text Sarah this morning as head in to work over the old Sheppey Bridge, my left eyelid all puffed up and sand grinding away on my eyeball. All day I think of her; laughing her tits off for half an hour. Ah, life, love and the universe ey?


After the BensEgo gig I end up round Aurelia’s house with Louis and Ruth. Whilst the girls sort the booze out Louis says to me ‘ooh, I just grabbed Ruth in the alleyway and had a snog!’. Dirty boy already has a partner and two kids by her and two kids by a previous liaison. Ruth’s ex is my car mechanic and he and she have just split up after going on holiday with each other. ‘You try holding your relationship together going on holiday with 3 teenage boys and a racist partner’. Trying is the word here.


Aurelia comes back upstairs with the booze. I don’t drink any but I do skin up and watch them drink. I get a call from Emily telling me they are rounds Ben’s house having an after pub party. I suggest we move round there where there are more people. And Jenny Pitt. Aurelia is well up for it but Louis says ‘naw, I think I’ll hang on here a bit with Ruth and finish my drink’. Like I said: ‘once a dog always a dog’.


Down at Ben's I sit with Jenny for a bit and we get on really well. She, again, asks if it’s ok if we just sleep with each other and not have a relationship. I've been saying no for years to her (get me) but now I’m single she’s determined to wind me up over it (get me again). In the end I say 'well maybe' and she pulls right back saying ‘oh, maybe it’ll ruin our friendship?’ Maybe it will. May be it won’t. We’ll see what happens when we hook up in Herne Bay this weekend. I need Jenny to be all over me (which she will) in front of Tort ; just to make her all jealous and all that. Don’t ask me why I want her to want me. I just do. I'm arranged to pick her up and drive her there.


My old mate Tom came down to our gig at the Smack to spin a few tunes. Also down were the lovely Jay and Jessica; me and MDM’s new chums that we met at the Neppy the weekend before. They were on great form; getting pissed and dancing like mad girls. They were lovely and Marc and I were falling in love with them more every minute. Such fun and smiley people. Just what we needed. Marc couldn’t really join in with me though as Carole was there giving him the evils and he was quite subdued trying to placate her and keep her happy. She does give him some serious stick which really stresses him out sometimes. Bless. One week they’re on the next they’re off. They can’t seem to make their long term monogamous arses up about whether to stay together or not so they seem to end up in this limbo land where neither of them are
happy and neither of them will make a decision. So on it goes. Week after week.


We end up at Rod and Dee’s party after the gig where I end up buying some drugs and taking them. Oh dear. That’s parties for you is it not? Jay and Jessica are not impressed and Jay snogs my mate, tattooed Bruce, and ‘goes for a walk with him’ for half an hour or so; red wine stains all over her lovely white top. Jessica leaves early and has no drugs and I’m quite impressed but know she likes Marc really. Damn that French fucker. One more thing of note was the harridan Julia who came up to me and said ‘sorry’. I was so flabbergasted I gave her a line of coke. One more harassment over me thinks. By the time I had a dance and a flirt with Jessica I was a bit fucked. I decide to go back with Sara, Tom and Shelley to Sara's house where we drink tea, listen to music from Tom – ‘this track is the one I’d play at your bankruptcy hearing Sara’ - and smoke spliffs till daybreak. Another weekend of fun and frolics over. Time to straighten up for work on Monday.

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