30 May 2009

the cream that is prescribed

Now then,
Louie and Josephine are about to have a baby. Louie is playing the proud father to be with great aplomb. Scoring loads of his favourite and disappearing all weekend. Nah – not really. Well, once in a while. Maybe. 

Josephine is madly pregnant and insists on working all hours in the café, between bouts on tears. Nero says it’s driving her mad. What with Josephine, her mum, Jo and Jeanie all talking about babies ALL the time…

Nero’s face got splashed with fat from the frying pan at work and she’s now walking around with these massive scabs on her face where the blister has healed and she’s plucked the scabs off.

Out and about in Whitstable on our night off last Saturday. The first Saturday for five weeks where I haven’t had to put up with organising a party and the great bugbear of the sound system scene, humping gear around. I could go out later and come home earlier; if I wanted to.


First stop, after a nice Spanish omelette and salad with a bottle of red, the offy to stock up on flavoured vodka, real lemonade, fags, lighter nuts and crisps. Then off round Steve and Emily’s for some hip-hop greenery and a few cocktails. Obviously after we arrived we went nowhere else. (Later we’d got an answer phone message from Julia, round at Rosie’s for a meal, ‘come on round for a smoke’. We politely ignored the message after ringing up and saying we’d be right round; before having an early night.)

Obviously a little livened and after playing with Steve’s mini table football and racing the clockwork snails for a while the chess board came out and a game between Steve and his mate Raj began. Nero and Ems talking manically between the boys about the cream that is prescribed to pregnant women that goes on the area between the anus and vagina. What is that area called? Nero was talking to Jeanie at work and, when she had had her baby, hadn’t ’used’ the cream and regretted it later. Josephine of course who also hasn’t used her cream was hastily advised by Jeanie to get a move on and start using! ‘Emily’ says Nero, ‘Did you use your cream when you were pregnant?’ ‘I did but I don’t think it made any difference. I still split like a watermelon.’ The boys face remains impassive as they concentrate on their game too wazzed to reply. Found out Raj is a horologist, he makes watches, for a living. Works for Rolex and wears a 3,600 pound watch which looks quite cool but; (shouts) three thousand six hundred fucking pounds? But then again everyone likes a good watch. Don’t they?

Which reminds me of another Whitstable story. Steve and the his mates Del, Matt the Scratcher and Matt’s driver ‘Gopher’ have got a little crew together and call themselves Subway Sounds and they have started playing regularly done at the Sardine, sorry, the Fountain. It’s all nip round to Dells for a quick one then back round the pub and letting it rip. This had been going on most of the evening and as the punters were getting more lashed up the boys were giving it a bit more welly and everything was going well. Then Nero, who had been quite ill with food poisoning and had been groaning all night and hadn’t drank anything and was a little wary of the pub coz Fat Geordie Tracey had punched her five times in the face last time she was in here and was now standing at the other end of the pub glowering at Nero all pregnant like, came up beside me. Probably to say lets go home now. Instead she rested her foot on a plug coming out of the wall and all the sound and lights went off in the pub. Everyone was ‘way-hey’ing like mad and ‘sort it out’ and all the usual shouts were breaking out. Nero didn’t even realise it was her that had done it. It took a couple of minutes to realise it was the plug and poor Nero nearly fainted with embarrassment. We later heard a rumour that was going round that tVC had come to the gig and ‘sabotaged’ it. Coz they were jealous.

Another reputation richly deserved.

Late April and the Fountain has burnt down! An electrical fault behind the till. There’s a gig in support of the pub at Tea and Times on sat april 27th. It’s a fiver to get. Will let you know what happens if I can blag the guest list of Steve subway.

Oh yeah, caught your 8 pager when I was round steve and ems the other night. Giid to see you coping well considering the circumstances. Your mention of Ed reminded me that I saw him in London the other week at the KAT and Digs&Woosh gig at Jax. He wasn’t talking about you but Nero and Emily were getting a few digs in about his ’bought’ bride and ‘what about our stevie’. The baby is due soon.

Good to here that Barn came for a visit. He’s back in the UK now. Saw him as he walked past the harbour street café the other day with Ria. He looked well paranoid. So no change there then! Good to here that you’d had a few visits from people though.

Here is a message from someone who responded to the ‘write to Steve plea’ on our website:

Date: Sun, 3 Feb 17:51:20 -0800 (PST)
From: jim howard
Subject: pass this onto steve for me please
To: tvc@www.com
keep your spirit as high as you can in this bad time. i hope things get sorted as quick as possible. i don't know who you are, but i heard about what has happened. i always check out the tvc website - me and my buddy usually cycle out there in those warm summer nights for some deep house. we are thinking of you mate, as im sure a hell of a lot of other people are. good luck, i was over in thailand last year, i went to suratthani, and on to koh phagnan- where i guess your troubles started. youll be ok man.
Nero turned the TV chef Jamie Oliver’s tongue yellow when she prepared a meal ordered by his publicists who were meeting him at their house in Whitstable. She did Moroccan harrira soup which is flavoured with turmeric. He said the soup was ‘pukka’ as he helped himself to several portions.

Timo becomes a fully fledged worker as he is now an earning quantity surveyor. What with a nice new house in Dover, with mortgage to match, and a nearly brand new VW Passat to him name, he’s laughing.Time for a little holiday. A snowboarding holiday in the French Alps. How to get there? Why, drive of course, in the Passat. What with Jes, Laurie and Adam in to fill the seats and to party on down with once they got there, what could possibly go wrong?

It’s a long drive to the resort and after several piss stops too many the lads soon tire of jumping into verges and dodging behind bushes. After one such rushed stop the lads are driving along quite happy when Timo starts sniffing the air. ‘OK, who’s stepped in some shit?’ says our man. Everyone checks their shoes and it’s Laurie who sheepishly admits the offence. Not only is it on his shoe it’s on the side on his trousers, the floor of Timo’s new car, the seat where Laurie was sitting and the back of the seat of the front passenger. So they stop. And clean up. Timo ain’t too pleased, but hey, says nothing. Thing’s like that happen. Let’s get on with the journey.

Who wants some chocolate? Me, says Laurie and gets a big chunk of toblerone which he sticks down between his legs (doh!) where it promptly melts all over his trousers, timos back seat, the floor. Timo decides to go ballistic. Chill out maan! Says Laurie. I suppose it’s my fault now, says timo.

Louie and Josephine have had there baby – Eva is the initial name they have chosen. I get Louie coming round mine quite a bit as he gets away from Josie and the baby.

Ta ta for now Steve, Keep your pecker up and I’ll write to you again next week!! Hope you got the tape I enclosed? Oz