27 May 2009
well, that's about it
Hi Paul, I'm sorry not to have got in touch for so long, but I just couldn't handle it really. I should have realised that you were covering your feelings up, and realised that you were feeling as wierd and upset about everything as I was, but I just reacted to what you said, took it personally and couldn't handle it, so left.
Then that made it easier to just leave it for a while, as every time I see you you seem more and more pissed off with me, and I thought it would be best to just sever it.
Actually I was very pissed off with you and thought fuck everything and wasn't going to get back in touch to let you not have to hear about me, or see me getting on with my new life. But just reading your emails have made me cry and so I've just got back in touch to say I hope everything is going ok for you, and I really never meant to cause you so much hurt or shit. I will always love and care about you, and remember happily the times we had. It still doesn't get much easier, does it? Still it's a long time to try and undo. I'm pleased you got your lecturers job, well done. It must be a bit better teaching people who are more into it?
I have only just finished work, so haven't been along to the library at all since the last email I sent, so I'm a bit rusty with it all. It's sad Josephine is selling the cafe, but it's probably for the best, she'll at least have some time. I'm off up to Wales again. I can't hack it round here with all the being the front page news all the time, plus I need to find work anyway. I will still keep in touch, but I feel it will probably be better if I'm not around. Hopefully people will find something else to disscuss with me not here. I'm sorry I didn't move the plants for you, I was really upset about that as I said I would, and I really didn't want to let you down again, but again I did, didn't I, the story of our life together.
So sorry to do the disappearing act. I'm ok, I'm very sorry to have worried you and upset you. I hope the girls have settled in all right, and you as well. And most of all I hope that you are all right. I love and miss you. Be good to yourself. Speak soon N xxx
oz tvc wrote:
here's my monthly report:
-settling into new place. it's well wierd and i'm still not used to the new regime yet; cats still scared of the trains going past but they'll get used to it. i hope. totty was puking a lot but i've reduced her portions, wormed them and i hope that's enough to sort the problem out.
-5 weeks into my lecturers job at cant coll. things going well. i'm winging it and learning flash along with my learners. real busy working to do much socialising. have a beer with val the odd friday after work but that's about it. haven't had a night out in ages. been to the pictures a few times though; saw a japanese horror film and a spanish 'hitchcock meets monty python' wierd one recently. how about you? you still like film?
-still not found anyone to share bills. room still empty. dave may be coming back in january but who knows. i aint been asking around that hard
so i should get my self in gear.
-josephine closes the HSC on 15th nov. it's been bought by 'deli dave' and he's turning it into a tapas bar. yawn... she is having a farewell party though if yo fancy coming?
-haven't done any tVC things for a while, except the pub. am having a break from all that for a while.
-haven't heard from you for while. i hope you are well. you said you were working real hard so i presume you haven't had time to reply to your
emails. you go for it girl...
-scouse got news that he can finish his sentance off in the UK. he's well chuffed about that and it will happen early next year.
-well, that's about it. hope to hear from you soon. if not, well, you take care of yourself and i'll send you an email next month...